on becoming an advice-seeker

as i've been dreaming up and planning LOCAL, i've become somewhat of an advice-seeker. i'm hungry for wisdom from those who've gone before; i want to know the details of things that worked and things that failed, and things they'd always wished they'd done. i've set up meeting after meeting with folks who've created chicago-networks before me, and church leaders who've led conferences, and children's leaders who've attended a million events. i'm curious. and anxious for their wisdom. 

and, after all of my advice-seeking experiences, i've learned a few things about seeking wisdom.

first, do it. seek wisdom from others. 

second, choose wisely. choose to seek wisdom first from those you're in relationship with. that doesn't mean you have to live close to them, it just means you have a friendship and you know the other person is interested in your well-being and growth. some of the best advice i've received about planning LOCAL came from my friend anthony over lunch in california. funny, right? great advice for a chicago conference came during lunch in california. as i shared my vision, he encouraged me to create a non-competitive environment. i hadn't thought about this. he's right, of course. sometimes without realizing it, church leaders compete with each other when gathered together, and i want none of this at LOCAL. because of our friendship, anthony offered relevant and helpful information. 

third, listen carefully and stay open. i've noticed sometimes people ask for advice and then don't listen. this is odd to me. after asking for an opinon, make eye contact, block out surrounding distractions, and focus entirely on the advice-giver's words. this is your gold. while meeting with greg, who is a serious wealth of great advice, he suggested we encourage participants to "make notes, not take notes." this was his response to a question i asked about our main session speakers. i was expecting a different reply. instead, he offered this nugget which proved far more valuable. listen carefully, and stay open when advice is given {especially when the advice is unexpected}.

fourth, filter. when you seek advice from those you're in relationship with, all advice is useful advice. but, the work of filtering still needs to be done. never, never take every piece of advice literally. always take time after a meeting to process, and determine your feelings and next steps. earlier this week i met with scottie, who built a super successful network in chicago many years ago. i knew her wisdom was exactly what i needed. when she suggested we tweak a key plan we'd been working on, i was caught off guard. after the meeting, on the drive home, i thought more about her advice. she was right. tweaking our plan was definitely needed. but, our context is a bit different, so my work now is to filter her advice and apply it to this specific event. her suggestion came from experience, and was offered in relationship. my job is to filter. 

and fifth, apply. seeking wisdom from others is no good if it will never be applied. for my event, i'm trying to categorize the advice i'm given into three categories: immediate action, next week's action, and sit-on-it action. in the immediate category, i'm pushing myself to act immediately after a meeting or within a day to apply advice i'm given. after meeting with megan, she suggested contacting another leader, and so i did that same afternoon. in the next week's action category, i'm making a list for things to do the following week. these things might require a bit more thought or planning or simply more time that i don't immediately have. and, the sit-on-it action category include great gems of wisdom that i need time to process further before taking action. but, i still list them so they don't become forgotten. and, when the time is right, i implement the ideas. 

seek advice. it's never good to go about ministry alone. you'll gain a full perspective, and great encouragement, and you'll be reminded that many people care about your well-being as a leader. 

because, that's the thing about advice-seeking. when you surround yourself with people excited to offer ideas that will strengthen your leadership, you'll be reminded how greatly you're loved and just how many folks are committed to your success. cheers to the advice-seekers!