choosing confidence {for today}

oftentimes, i daydream about god choosing me. i imagine him looking out across the entire world, searching for someone who will rise up to the challenge of making the world different for children, and i see myself raising my hand like a little kid begging and pleading for god to pick me.

“Pick me! Pick me!” I scream.

i hope with everything in me that i’m good enough, smart enough, educated and experienced enough so that god will see me raising my hand and choose me to lead and love for the sake of children.

most days, i feel confident because i hear god saying to me, “I’ve already picked you.”

and i feel peace knowing that god is good.

there are other days: days i feel insecure because i believe the lies that i’m not good enough. i forget god’s gentle voice, “I’ve already picked you.”

today, i raise my hand again and imagine him choosing me‚ whispering to me, “You are the one I need. You are the one who will make a difference. Lead strong and with great confidence."

today, he says to me and to you, "I have seen you and have chosen you.”

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of christ jesus. —philippians 1:6 

essay originally appeared in What Matters Now in Children's Ministry.