family clarity {or, how to be less confusing}

everyone has a different definition of family. for some, family = married couple with children. for others, married couple without children. and still others, children regardless of marital status. 

as evidenced by this Pew Research Center Survey, people define family differently. 

how do you define family? when you are preaching a sermon, inviting folks to family ministry activities or communicating with the congregation, who are you referring to when you say "family?" 

oh! but, wait! many of us have not yet defined family for ourselves. i've noticed that children's ministry leaders use the word family in a general, super inclusive manner {of course, we want singles, grandparents, couples, and parents to be involved and benefit from our family ministry activities}, and so we sometimes assume our church members know exactly who we're referring to.

but, our over-use of the word family in our churches is lacking clarity and providing confusion.

for example: if a pastor, during a sermon, asks me to consider spiritually strengthening my family, i'll think about ways to encourage faith for my husband & me {because that's our family}. but, if he follows that up with a challenge to sign up for the parenting class next week, then i know -- he defines family as adults with children. got it! and, it would have been helpful if he had defined the type of family {those with children} he was referring to earlier {thus, less confusion for me! and, others.}

here's my point: define the word family for yourself before using the word with your congregation. take time to reflect -- when you use the word family within your church, who are you referring to 90% of the time? you might even draw a diagram to help you determine your target. 

this is my diagram. how would you draw this diagram? the important thing is to define family for yourself. when you are clear on what you mean by family, your church will be clear. your language, written communication, and family ministry programming will follow your super-clear defintion. 

and, this is the best part! less confusion = more church members participating in your activities. when parents know that you've created a class just for them, they'll be more likely to attend. when a married couple hears about a marriage seminar for couples without children, they'll be quick to sign up. when you're clear, folks will spend less mental energy wondering which activities are right for them. they'll just know. and, they'll engage. 

so, let's be less confusing. a good lesson for all of life, really. let's be clear on how we're using the word family for ourselves, and for our church members. because, seriously, clarity is awesome.