on officiating weddings

photo by Erin Hoyt Photography

this summer, i had the amazing honor to officiate a few weddings for the loveliest people from my church. manny + teresa's soiree was next level. a mariachi band played as they kissed and walked down the aisle. i mean. where can you go from there? oh, i know. heartfelt toasts from family + friends which put fully on display the most beautiful picture of two families {different both racially and culturally} coming together as one. i'm not sure i've ever seen anything like it. so much LOVE. 

dana + hartley's ceremony was well-planned, peace-filled, and composed of the kindest, sweetest family + friends, including the mother-of-the-bride who prayed for me before the ceremony. gracious, generous, a beautiful expansion of love. i kept pinching myself. 

and, in just a few weeks, my dear friend courtney will marry her man terry, and you best be sure i'll be doing all i can not to blubber my way through the ceremony. odds of that NOT happening. NONE. after years together, they've been through an incredible amount of tragedy, and through it all -- have been each other's love. i can barely wait to celebrate their wedding. 

i'm still a newbie to officiating weddings. compared to my pals -- i've got a lot to learn. but, here's the surprising thing: it's quickly become one of my most favorite parts of my job. 

here's what i love:

{1} the opportunity to ask good questions. as i prepare a ceremony, i ask the BIG and fun questions. my favorites: what do you love most about each other? what words do you hope will describe your family? what is your vision for your life together? the answers, each time, are brave + inspiring + meaningful. it's not every day that folks are in a place to be able to think about these things, or are even super open to sharing. but, preparing for a wedding is a special time that causes most people to reflect on their futures, and boy-oh-boy, it's an honor to be part of that. 

note: these aren't questions that prepare couples for marriage; they simply help guide the ceremony. couples should participate in some type of marriage readiness: class, counseling, etc..

{2} the opportunity to lead. i see my role as officiant as the leader/facilitator of the ceremony. my job is to keep the ceremony moving, anticipate what's coming next, and respond as challenges arise. i tell couples that i'll be doing these things so they can be fully present to each other and enjoy the moment. look each other in the eye, hold hands, and lose track of time -- i say.

let's be real. i love ANY opportunity to lead. but, when leadership provides a couple the opportunity to express their love on their wedding day without distraction. nothing better. 

{3} the opportunity to encourage marriage. next month, marks twelve years for kelly + me in our own marriage. together, we've journeyed as partners, best friends, life companions through the very best and very worst days. all of which has made me a very BIG fan of marriage. 

now, of course, you don't have to be married to encourage marriage, but, for me, officiating weddings gives me reminder that i'll do all i can to help others who want to be married get married.  

i love LOVE. what can i say?