the importance of seeing yourself clearly

i'm a new extrovert. well, the awareness and acceptance that i'm an extrovert is new. for most of my life, i thought i was an introvert--someone who loved quiet nights at home and found energy in being alone. i thought that ministry had "forced" me to display some extroverted tendencies {like talking to people}, but that deep down i was an introvert who would always prefer to be alone. 

and then, a few years ago, actually at my very first orange conference, my husband and i were chatting over lunch about a few things we had heard in the session, and i'm not joking, it was as if i could see myself for the first time -- i said "i think i might be an extrovert."

leading up to that moment i had done a few things to gain health and balance in my life, and it seemed that once those things were in place, i was able to see myself clearly for the first time. and since then, i've discovered this: after a long day of ministry, instead of going home alone and hiding under the covers, i want to invite people over for dinner, and catch up with friends, and play with my nieces. i feel great. and alive. and like me. 

here's the thing: most days, ministry is an extroverted profession. people, people, people. and because of this, i think, when you're leading in the church it's hard to see yourself accurately. in my most difficult seasons of ministry, i didn't have energy for my friends and my family. i was exhausted, depleted, drained, and had to reserve the people energy i did have for those i led at work. for these reasons, i assumed i was an introvert. wrong. it was the unhealth of my daily rhythms that clouded my ability to see myself clearly resulting in poor leadership choices and fatigue.  

so, i'm embracing this whole extrovert thing. it's still new, and odd, and it catches me by surprise when i say it outloud. over the summer i asked my parents what they thought and in unison they said extrovert. after accusing them of keeping this from me, i listened as they told story after story from my childhood that highlighted the extrovert i was as a kid and still am today as an adult. 

it's mucho importante to see yourself clearly. when you're aware of your authentic personality, you can develop rhythms and boundaries, habits and patterns that set you up to lead at your very best.

for today, do what you can to see who you are: ask others, take tests, notice your behaviors, and pay attention to the unhealth in your life. in turn, you'll lead from the best possible place. 

let's chat! are you an extrovert or introvert? have you always known this, or like me is this brand new information for you? how does this affect your daily leadership? 

oh! also! i'm guest blogging today on being bossy {or, a woman leader} over at wendy's blog.