lemonlimekids

i've been surprised at the number of conversations that i've had lately with friends who are currently confused by their faith and are wondering where god is in the midst of their life circumstances. of course, i've wondered where god has been lately, but usually i assume that i'm the only one who feels this way. it's interesting, isn't it, how we naturally lean towards isolation instead of community when faced with questions and fear?

but talking and listening and doing life with others who share the same fears and concerns - this idea that maybe god really has taken a break from overseeing the world - somehow makes my situation feel more real and authentic.

last week during a conversation with some friends, i actually got lost in my thoughts imagining god on a beach somewhere enjoying the sun and a well-deserved vacation and a break from walking with his people every single day.

now i did graduate from bible college so i know none of this is actually true, and deep down in my spirit i do believe that god is still with me and my friends, and that he cares about my life, and that really this whole world isn't just about what god is or isn't doing in my life.

but what sometimes gets confusing is what to do when god's voice and presence feel extremely quiet. right now the best i can do is to keep walking and moving forward each day searching desperately for any evidence of his love and grace.

today i saw just an inkling of him during a brief conversation with a woman at church.

and tomorrow i'm hoping for an even slightly larger inkling.

because in all of this confusion - my hope is what remains.