{women} lead

i care deeply about women in leadership. women are gifted, and called, and created by god with essential church leadership gifts. and, the church will not reach it's full potential or represent the full diversity of christ until women are empowered & encouraged to lead alongside men.

end of rant. i just get going on the topic and lose all track of sensibility. pardon me.

recently, i read sheryl sandberg's book lean in. i knew it would be good, but is was real good. here's a helpful suggestion: read the book. regardless if you're male or female -- the book is applicable to anyone who works alongside women in a staff capacity, oversees women who volunteer in the ministry, who is a woman, or anyone supervised by a women. so, really, everyone.

here's how i'm currently applying the book to my leadership:

what is your biggest problem, and how can i solve it? -- with my clients, i'm starting with this question instead of spouting off all the ways my skills can help improve their program.

on success & likeability -- one of my new year's resolutions was to stand up for myself more often. i had noticed that in working hard to encourage and empower my clients, i'd forgotten to speak up for what was important to me. in the past, when i've lead a team, i've gone overboard making sure everyone liked me. as if that were the highest goal. silly amy. i feel hyper-aware of my tendency to do this, and i'm practicing speaking up for myself one small step at a time.

your desire to be liked by everyone will hold you back. when you want to change things, you can't please everyone. if you do please everyone, you aren't making enough progress. 

it's a jungle gym, not a ladder -- ladders are limiting, they are for moving up or down only. but, jungle gyms offer more creative exploration with great views for everyone, not just those at the top. i love this analogy from the book and have been thinking about applications for the women i serve alongside in ministry. i want to consider more creative paths for careers and ministry and volunteer work and raising families. there can't just be one right way for all women, and i don't want to judge those who chose different paths than me. we have to encourage each other to take a few steps up and over and back again. all for the sake of using our gifts for the kingdom.

don't leave before you leave -- for me, this was the best chapter in the whole book. on how women are thinking about leaving their careers to start or raise a family before they are even married or pregnant. and, the gigantic void they are leaving in the workplace as women mentally abandon their careers in their early 20's. i'm on overdrive thinking about the women pastors and directors i know, and how the church environment might not be encouraging them to lead strong while they're pregnant, or during the years before they're pregnant. most women are mentally planning their escape route before it's ever near the time to leave. we've got to change this.

women rarely make one big decision to leave the workforce. instead, they make a lot of small decisions along the way, making accomodations and sacrifices that they believe will be required to have a family. of all the ways women hold themselves back, perhaps the most pervasive is that they leave before the leave.

make your partner a real partner -- interesting fact: of the 28 women who have served as CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, 26 were married, 1 was divorced, and only 1 had never married. many of these CEOs said they could not have succeeded without the support of their husbands, helping with the children, the household chores, and showing a willingness to move. fascinating, right? i'm beyond lucky to be in a true partnership with my husband. and, i only want to increase the ways i rely on him and trust him with my work and our home and our lives so that together we can be our best.

so. in conclusion. read this book. it's eye-opening and super helpful. i'm a fan.

{2} tasks for un-dizzying social media

post. tweet. blog. publish. pin. tag. retweet. like. update. repeat. repeat. repeat. repeat. 

social media can be dizzying. especially when it comes to knowing which tools are right for ministry. 

in my consulting work, clients often ask which social media platform they should use for their children's ministry. they want to know if facebook, twitter, instagram, pinterest, and blogging are right for connecting with parents, volunteers, kids, and pastors. social media has made them dizzy.

for un-dizzying social media, i suggest two tasks: 

{1.} define your audience. before tweeting or statusing, you must define who it is that you're trying to connect and communication with via social media. don't just start tweeting without having an intentional audience in mind. oh! and you can use a variety of platforms for connecting with a variety of audiences. for example: i use twitter to connect with children's ministry leaders, and facebook to share personal updates wtih my family and friends. 

once you've defined your audience - notice where that particular audience's energy is. i chose twitter for children's ministry because i noticed my kidmin peers were sharing links and tweets on that platform. if you're looking to connect with the parents of your ministy, notice where they are -- facebook? pinterest? follow the energy and meet them there. 

also, you don't have to use every social media platform available. only use the one {or ones} that help communicate best and are most nautral for your audience, and are easiest for you to keep up. 

{2.} define your purpose. after you've defined your audience, it's best to define your purpose. what is your goal in using the platform to connect with your defined audience? i find it's helpful to write a 1-2 sentence social media statement that defines your perspective and purpose. mine: i’ll use twitter to connect, encourage, and train children’s leaders in my community and around the world. 

having a clear purpose helps focus your social media updates so that you're tweeting with intentionality. and, it helps to more effectively draw in your audience and accomplish your intended purpose. remember -- social media is a tool. you don't have to use it in the same way as others. do what feels right & comfortable for you, and is best for accomplishing your specific purpose. 

define your audience. define your purpose. and, you'll be a little less social media dizzy in no time. 

additional resources: 

Social Media Demographics

The Social Media Handbook for Church

Don Tapscott

Born Digital Book

volunteer thank you ideas -- to celebrate a great year of service, and joy, and ministry.

1./ send a thank you card to the key leaders 

2./ stamp a thank you on each volunteer's hand

3./ hang this trophy poster in each classroom with the words -- you are a treasure 

4./ fill up a bowl with notes from parents thanking volunteers 

5./ give each a volunteer a tasty donut in a bag marked with these adorable printable tags

6./ help children make felt party flags to wave at and celebrate their small group leaders

7./ place candy in these BIG THANKS treat bags and give one to each volunteer

cheers to deserving, loyal, fantastic volunteers!

mutual blessing

mutual blessing :: allowing yourself to be blessed as you bless others. 

i've been thinking lately about how leaders are so one-way. one-way focused on leading, training, giving, serving, loving, and caring in one direction -- towards others. 

and, i think we've become so one-way that we're not able to receive blessings. we give without any expectation that we'll receive in return. we close ourselves off to the possibility that the blessee might actually become more blessed as she returns the blessing. and that we were made to give and receive equally, not just leader to follower, pastor to church member. but, each to each other. 

here's my story -- recently, i began making a weekly dinner for a family i love oh-so-much who is walking through a difficult season. after going through my own tough season, i learned that what some folks need most during that time is for someone to just do something. it wasn't always helpful for me when people asked what i needed, or told me to reach out to them for help. i didn't have enough energy to do that. what i needed most was for people to think about what they specifically could do, or what they had to offer, and then do it. no questions asked, no permission needed. 

so, what i currently have to offer this family is a homemade meal delivered to their front door. a few weeks into this cooking endeavor, i noticed something. while i was shopping for groceries, chopping veggies, assembling the bag of food, and driving to their house -- i was thinking of them, and praying for them. it was the actual act of cooking that forced me to slow down and spend time praying.

my first point of mutual blessing recognition. a simple act of kindness became a regular time of prayer. i felt blessed and grateful for those peaceful moments of cooking that i spent alone with god. 

but then, yesterday, i dropped off the bag of food and saw that the lovely wife had left me a bag outside her door. inside were my empty containers from last week, some delicious coffee she picked up on a recent trip, and a note encouraging me to follow god's will in this day, whatever it might be. 

when i got home, i hung the note on the fridge next to the dozens of other notes she had left me. over the weeks, she had written bible verses, prayers, and thoughtful suggestions for how to follow god that week. and i was struck by the surprise of it all -- we were blessing each other. equally. mutually. 

as i looked at all of the notes, i wondered how many dozens of blessings i had already missed because i was so busy blessing her and and her family. i asked god to open my eyes to the wonder, delight and possibility of those around me trying to offer care and kindess. that i might not be too closed off, too one-way to receive from others. and that i not be too prideful in claiming my leadership title to see the generous offerings of others. 

so, how about we set a new way, a new example of how leaders both give and receive generously. let's lead so that the church becomes the mutual blessing it was designed to be for all the world. amen.

The Gathering {My People}

after a great week at The Gathering, i'm happily home ready to be settled into a quiet summer. it's been quite the run {curriculum writing, LOCAL planning, traveling, speaking, consulting}, all of which, i'm entirely grateful for, but now i'm feeling the desperate need for a few minutes to process it all, and rest, and stay open to what might be next. can you relate? 

i'm a broken record, but conferences for me really are all about the people. and, The Gathering was no exception. it was super fun to be at an event with so many friends. esther took us to fish tacos the very minute we arrived in costa mesa, and i was glad to be able to spend so much time with her, melissa and naomi all leaders from my church -- willow chicago. as you might remember, i met these lovelies last year at the same event, and this year, over coffee one afternoon, we marveled over how much we'd grown and accomplished together in just the last year. 

you know, of course, how i feel about sandy. we've served together at willow, and then she was my intern, and now, she's a superstar in her own right leading the willow dupage campus. she's smart, and fun, and all-around so committed to her church and the families she leads. we spent some good time together at the event as she's about to transition her curriculum, and again i marveled at how much we'd done together, and the blessing it is to do ministry with life-long friends. 

and then, staci and gloria. these two live in LA and weren't attending the event, but drove to costa mesa so we could spend time together. i talk a lot about the power of the kidmin online community and the special opportunity we have to connect with each other via twitter and blogs, and last week these two reminded me of just that. staci and gloria were friends online who became real friends offline. we chatted all sorts of life and ministry, frustrations and hopes, and hopefully in the midst of it all, we sharpened and encouraged each other. they are lights to my spirit. 

while at the event each night, on the phone with my husband, recalling the day's events, i mentioned how wonderful it was to be with my people. because ministry can be lonely, and hard, and at-times not even doable. but, friends who know exactly what you're going through make the entire difference. and, for the seasons when ministry is fun and filled with good things, they're the first ones you want to celebrate with. because, ministry friends are one of god's greatest blessings. 

these are my people. who are your people?